I'm so glad that mishamcm posted this hysterical set of slash hand-signals from wikdsushi, because now I can pass it on too. It kills me in the good way.
Reason #14 why I will continue to pimp kjv31 to the world: because he exposes me to stuff like this, which
In other news, I received a phone call this morning, rousing me from sleep at 7:00 a.m. It was the spokesman for DAFT (Doctrinal American Fags for Truth), a five-million member organization of gay men dedicated to vigorously correcting fictional misrepresentations and biased media coverage of their noble people. Their spokesman, Ty, informed me that I had landed on their Watch List for having written a number of fan-fiction stories that, quote, "Softened the masculine, politically progressive image of gay men with portrayals of characters who discuss their relationship between bouts of inaccurate anal sex, yet who rarely call themselves 'gay'." He expressed the wishes of the gay male majority that fan-fiction written by women about gay or quasi-gay men should adhere more closely to realistic statistical profiles of the average gay man, a prescriptive stance apparently adopted as a formal resolution in their most recent annual meeting.
After he explained the process by which fictional works would need to be submitted before the Board of Queer Standards for approval and endorsement, I decided instead to simply stop writing slash fiction. This strikes me as the most practical and ethical choice, given that the wishes of gay men everywhere on the subject of slash fiction have been so clearly articulated.
As a side note, I mentioned to Ty that I'd actually come across remarks by women in fandom who expressed these same concerns about slash depictions of gay men. I asked him whether these women were perhaps affiliated in some way with DAFT or other gay male associations, but he said rather explosively, "Hellllllll no, girl, those dizzy bitches don't speak for us."
I guess that puts us in our place.
Hey, look, it seems to be time to work.