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07 August 2003 @ 03:46 pm
fuck.  
I hate other people's serenity and social popularity and plans to do fun things, and the money they have, and how they can get along with everyone, whereas I am always this hulking seething mass of rage and discontent who can't even sit in the same room with people without wanting to punch them.

Mood swing. Am feeling heavy-headed and hateful.
 
 
Malkin Greymalkingrey on August 7th, 2003 04:07 pm (UTC)
I hate other people's serenity and social popularity and plans to do fun things, and the money they have, and how they can get along with everyone, whereas I am always this hulking seething mass of rage and discontent who can't even sit in the same room with people without wanting to punch them.

Yes. Exactly . . . the bone-deep conviction that somewhere else, all the cool people are having fun. And they changed the night for it without telling you, and you couldn't have afforded it anyway.
Anna S.eliade on August 7th, 2003 09:06 pm (UTC)
Yes! ::sniff:: There's a certain beautiful illogic that we *all* feel like that, I suppose. Except the ones we suspect don't, and those are the ones we want to kick in the first place....

Sue Donym: cutexandersue_donym on August 7th, 2003 04:16 pm (UTC)
I want to punch most people too. But I've never punched anybody and I would probably hurt my hand.
Anna S.eliade on August 7th, 2003 09:05 pm (UTC)
I know--I've had that thought too! I want to be a big manhulk thing who can bitchslap people into next Tuesday.
Disco Xtydred on August 7th, 2003 04:21 pm (UTC)
re
hey wait til you are older it get's worst !!
sockkpuppett on August 7th, 2003 04:33 pm (UTC)
Me too, honey. Me too.

I hate everybody.
Anna S.eliade on August 7th, 2003 09:05 pm (UTC)
A little solidarity, that's all I needed, man. :)
(Deleted comment)
Anna S.eliade on August 7th, 2003 09:04 pm (UTC)
And, like, *existing*, damn them.

::hugs::
flaming june: Crawling_flaming_june_ on August 7th, 2003 04:48 pm (UTC)
::hugs:: if you want them, Anna.

And I really do know what you mean. I'm the world's perkiest misanthrope.

Hope the feeling passes soon.
10zlaine on August 7th, 2003 06:26 pm (UTC)
She is. Which is why I love her so much, and why we can even be friends, because ordinarily, chicks like her don't run with the likes of me.

::kisses June and kicks Anna for trying to bogart all the grumpiness::
Anna S.eliade on August 7th, 2003 09:04 pm (UTC)
Thanks, my little cutie peeps. :)
flaming june: MoonGirl_flaming_june_ on August 7th, 2003 09:22 pm (UTC)
::kisses you back::

But what's with the "chicks like her" and "likes of me" bullshit? Pfffft. If I don't run with the likes of you, my dear, it's because you live in fucking Maine. So there. ;)
Disco Xtydred on August 7th, 2003 04:52 pm (UTC)
re
hey wait til you are older it get's worst !!
Anna S.eliade on August 7th, 2003 09:03 pm (UTC)
Re: re
I am older. Hmmph.

;)
herself_nyc on August 7th, 2003 05:04 pm (UTC)
:: hug ::
Anna S.eliade on August 7th, 2003 09:03 pm (UTC)
Thanks, pet. ;)
herself_nyc on August 8th, 2003 10:24 am (UTC)
I hope this lousy cloud lifts for you soon. It's hell to feel this way, and dwelling on it makes it worse but it's also impossible to distract yourself when you're in this state. Urrgh.
Homeboys in Atmospheric Space: Scabbers (pallidamors)noshootingstars on August 7th, 2003 05:54 pm (UTC)
Right there with ya.
Being the woman that I am, I feel social and perky...two days out of the month? Yeah, that's about right.
Anna S.eliade on August 7th, 2003 09:02 pm (UTC)
Re: Right there with ya.
Yes, me too. And I'm asleep during those 48 hours. ;)
Jane Bluestockingj_bluestocking on August 7th, 2003 06:36 pm (UTC)
Yeah, well, I envy you your originality and talent and your swordplay with metaphors. Uh-huh, that's right, babe, some of us are sitting over here in the folding chairs watching you.
Anna S.eliade on August 7th, 2003 09:01 pm (UTC)
Like, you're sitting on the folding chair in front row center, right? And I'm up here on stage and they're making me sing opera!

I am Willow. She is me.
JaneDavittjanedavitt on August 7th, 2003 06:57 pm (UTC)
I think you're all cool and stuff. But I'm not and never have been, so that probably isn't a rousing endorsement. Are you hug-safe? Ah, who cares? ::hugs::
Anna S.eliade on August 7th, 2003 09:00 pm (UTC)
Hug-safe, yes. :)

::hugs back::
kassrachel on August 7th, 2003 07:11 pm (UTC)
A poem I cribbed from Anne Lamott which will maybe make you laugh
We who are
your closest friends
feel the time
has come to tell you
that every Thursday
we have been meeting,
as a group,
to devise ways
to keep you
in perpetual uncertainty
frustration
discontent and
torture
by neither loving you
as much as you want
nor cutting you adrift.
Your analyst is
in on it,
plus your boyfriend
and your ex-husband;
and we have pledged
to disappoint you
as long as you need us.
In announcing our
association
we realize we have
placed in your hands
a possible antidote
against uncertainty
indeed against ourselves.
But since our Thursday nights
have brought us
to a community
of purpose
rare in itself
with you as
the natural center,
we feel hopeful you
will continue to make unreasonable
demands for affection
if not as a consequence
of your disastrous personality
then for the good of the collective.

-- Philip Lopate
Anna S.eliade on August 7th, 2003 08:59 pm (UTC)
Re: A poem I cribbed from Anne Lamott which will maybe make you laugh
Ha! That's brilliant! :>D I did, I giggled. (Of course, there's also a helpful upwind caused by my 5-hour absence from online and the eating of two bacon sandwiches.)
Sammy: ray-fingerlittlesammy on August 8th, 2003 01:42 am (UTC)
whereas I am always this hulking seething mass of rage and discontent who can't even sit in the same room with people without wanting to punch them.

God, how I know that feeling. Except me, I'm usually the hulking mass of depression and discontent...