Fandom shouldn't make me sad. There's something very wrong in LJ-Land lately. And I have a fairly modest, conservatively tailored friends list, comparatively speaking, so I think it's everywhere. It's pervasive, it's permeating everything. I know some people who are still very much dedicated to mailing list culture who have a lot of criticisms to make about LJs, and I've always rejoined by pointing out all the cool and positive things about LJ culture. It is a hotbed sometimes. But so are lists, and I think it's usually harder to tailor list memberships and subject matter to suit yourself. I don't get how, with all the coolness of the cool people I rub shoulders with in LJ--like all the sweet peaches who replied to my last post--the carnival as a whole so often fails to amuse me, fails to add up to more than the sum of its parts. I'm all negative and shit, I guess. And maybe not putting in enough to get back what I need. In contrast, as an example, I think anniesj is the most brilliant example of the laws of social reciprocity that I've ever seen--she reaps what she sows, and it's all good. If I had more energy she'd be my role model. Meanwhile, on my TV, the mad scientist is confiding conversationally to a severed head. I think I'll focus on that for a while.