Anna S. (eliade) wrote,
Anna S.

hot child in the city

Coming home from work, it certainly felt like the 94 degrees it supposedly is. I hate the heat. Oh how I hate the heat, the sun, the smears of hair oil on bus windows, people's sticky sweaty bodies pressed close, the suffocation of the air.

So, I just got the *second* of two CDs I ordered, trying to buy a copy of the version of "Save the Last Dance for Me" that plays in QAF. And this is the Drifters version with Ben E. King, which is what I thought it was, but it doesn't sound like the version from the show. Does anyone know who sings the version in the show? Maybe it just sounds differently on headphones.

She said dubiously.

So, I wish I could nail consistency of character, even if it is a hobgoblin. Like, earlier today I was thinking: why, when you're expressing your pleasure at something, do people feel the need to share their own negative thoughts about it? And then I turned around and did the exact same thing to someone else, and just. couldn't. stop. myself.

I guess that's hypocrisy, but it's rarely all that conscious. It's just human nature. But I feel weak because I can't force the wild vine of nature to adhere to any cultivated, moral design. And the thing is, I don't want nobility of character because it's the right thing. I want it so that I can stand firmly on the moral high ground and sneer coldly and loftily down at everyone: "If you were better people, like me, [I'd imply] you'd be able to stick to principles of logic and debate and conduct regardless of your personal feelings."

And then I'd toss my cape back over one shoulder, kick a puppy, and sweep nobly past all you muddy peasants as I entered the restaurant for filet and cake with George W. Bush, our esteemed President.


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