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05 March 2006 @ 05:07 pm
title meme, a brief installment  
I'm offline--living the dream! In case you were wondering. *g* More from me later. But for now, man-seals.

Care of the Hide, or Why Rodney McKay Is Molting for stungunbilly

Proving that, in my loyal service to the kingdom of crackfic, I will stop at nothing, I turn Rodney into a sleek and beautiful man-seal, or selkie. It was a secret he'd worked hard to keep all his life, and it was easy when he was inland--Siberia, Antarctica--but now that he's living in Atlantis, surrounded by water, his longing for the sea makes him restless and irritable.

What he doesn't realize at first is that it's also stimulating his selkie self to surface. When he begins to molt, he panics and tries to hide it, but eventually the skin around his collarbone begins peeling, and then his neck and face, arms and hands. When he can't hide it or explain it away any longer, he's confronted by Carson, Elizabeth, and John and must confess his secret. Carson, after a predictable boggle and recovery period, theorizes that Rodney's selkie nature is manifesting out of his control because he hasn't taken proper care of himself in so long. Carson reproves him rather sternly for not nourishing his selkie side.

So Rodney unpacks his treasured sealskin from the box he's been keeping it in and it molds itself magically to his body--John watches in fascination and possibly alarm--and dives into the ocean waves for a long cavort. When he comes back a week later, he's refreshed and perky, and much calmer than usual, because he's happy in his skin again. And he puts his seal coat away, but now he will take it out on occasion when the moon is full, et cetera et cetera, and John of course falls helplessly for Rodney, because now that his selkie magic is back in force, people keep giving him candy and asking if he wants to come back to their rooms and see their etchings. But John glares at everyone and his razor-sharp hair frightens them, and so he and Rodney cavort happily ever after.
 
 
 
WesleysGirl: Rodneywesleysgirl on March 6th, 2006 01:19 am (UTC)
Ohhhh yeah, that's the stuff. Selkies. Mmm.
(Deleted comment)
superheroes failing at oatmeal: rodney says NOESsome_stars on March 6th, 2006 01:30 am (UTC)
Carson reproves him rather sternly for not nourishing his selkie side.

this sentence makes me so happy. and yet, simultaneously, APPALLED.

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
LadyStarlightladystarlightsj on March 6th, 2006 02:45 am (UTC)
Nummy. And I'm officially blaming you for my absolute binge on SGA McShep fic now.

(cries) I don't even get to watch the show and I'm hooked!
Moxie Brown: DH: Heart-shaped assmoxie_brown on March 6th, 2006 02:50 am (UTC)
OMG, you're totally giving me flashbacks to my women's studies class on myth and folklore! Thankfully you didn't go with the version where John hides the coat to tame his woman Rodney!
tabaqui: uncuddlybyinmonkeystabaqui on March 6th, 2006 03:01 am (UTC)
Oh oh oh!!
Yis!
Selkie!Rodney!

John's razor-sharp hair!
Dude.
I want *details* and *flesh* and *moooooooooore*

And selkie-sex.
*ahem*
*had to do recipricol polar bear*
kahaniyan: john & rodneykahaniyan on March 6th, 2006 04:51 am (UTC)
♥♥♥

your imaginary crackfic makes me smile SO MUCH! :D
Her Head Exploded! How Cool Is That?zee on March 6th, 2006 04:53 am (UTC)
*rubs face, chuckling*

So, we're apparently frequenting the same sea-mammal!McKay crackhouse (which nicely underscores smittywing's findings, regarding SGA fans). New SuperPen + sleep deprivation + THIS FANDOM =



which, I'm afraid, immediately went on a mug. The end. *slaps flippers with you*
adannu: angel right?adannu on March 6th, 2006 05:37 am (UTC)
Er, that link redirects to Microsoft for some wacky reason. *eyes LJ suspiciously*

Also, that picture makes me laugh and laugh. And I'd love that on a mug too. :D
Her Head Exploded! How Cool Is That?zee on March 6th, 2006 05:48 am (UTC)
Oh, for ... you know, it's helpful to use only the one 'http'. I blame Eliade. The selkie made off with my mind. Here's the proper link.
stungunbilly: smokin'stungunbilly on March 6th, 2006 05:09 am (UTC)
Well, okay then! That explains it. The nervousness, the irritability- and here we all thought it was caffeine. Sea-withdrawal, man, that will bring you DOWN.

So what happens if someone, like, say, Ronon, steals Rodney's shiny pelt?

Spiky hair notwithstanding.

I love this fandom SO MUCH.
Pamgoosegirl9 on March 6th, 2006 05:12 am (UTC)
Pffftpht. Spits seal hair. Oh, you are shameless.
adannu: angel right?adannu on March 6th, 2006 05:40 am (UTC)
Oooooh. Selkies. And I like the idea of Rodney being even crankier because of his sea-longing.

Razor sharp hair! *snicker*
Sorry we said fuck so much: disgust myself20thcenturyvole on March 6th, 2006 08:04 am (UTC)
But John glares at everyone and his razor-sharp hair frightens them, and so he and Rodney cavort happily ever after.

OMG. Now I want this fic so badly, it hurts. *emo tears*
Trepkos: Squee Buffy by Noaluvjamestrepkos on March 6th, 2006 02:07 pm (UTC)
"living the dream! In case you were wondering"

*Bounces excitedly*
Tell us more!
janecarnall on March 6th, 2006 02:28 pm (UTC)
Selkies. Oh my.

Oh, poor Rodney. He just has the most complicated problems.
...my hand caught his hair running...mousewrites on March 6th, 2006 05:38 pm (UTC)
OMG.

You're NOT going to write this? cuz... I have this, um, selkie... thing. (even wrote selkie porn... don't hate me.)

I WILL DO ANYTHING to make you write this. Picture? Knitted hat? MONEY? WHAT DO YOU WANT??
not so secretly sybariticallivrelibre on March 8th, 2006 05:35 am (UTC)
Oh I do like where your transformations go-crack or not. It's such good crack:)
lastscorpion on March 27th, 2006 08:15 am (UTC)
LOL! There are tears in my eyes!

You don't mind if I 'friend' you, do you?
bearpaw9bearpaw9 on April 29th, 2006 02:00 am (UTC)
::: beaming in from elsewhere with useless selkie trivia :::

I read the suggestion that the first selkie tales could have come from a Greenland kayaker washed up on the shores of Scotland or somewhere thereabouts. Without the sealskin covering, the kayak is just a framework of sticks. Find the hidden sealskin, and you can slip away.
ex_angelica on September 29th, 2006 07:37 pm (UTC)
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korilian: burnkorilian on October 6th, 2006 11:28 am (UTC)
I will give you mountains of candy if you stop secucing us with these cracked descriptions and actually give us the fics! :)