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22 November 2005 @ 03:43 pm
how is it only 3:30?  
In my world, we are pantsless and it's time to go home.

On my desk I have a rock that says "Carpe Diem." It has a nice heft and edge to it. You could totally seize the rock and bash someone on the head with it and laugh as they fell twitching to the carpet.

No, I'm fine, really.

I'm feeling a bit perkier; this new medication may be starting to kick in. Could be helping. I'm kind of up today, and not taking the Adderall. Not entirely focused, but I've gotten some work done. I was tired and aimless this past weekend though, so...not sure yet.

A few days ago I got some really nice feedback on "No Man Is Born an Angler" and realized that all this time I'd had it posted on my site as "No Man is Born an Angler." Because apparently I thought, "I know it's a 'be' verb, but it's so short, why bother capitalizing it?" So. Very. Embarrassing. Shame, shame, eternal shame.*

And now I'm restless. I mean, I became even more restless while writing this post. And my need for chocolate intensified. Also, twelve minutes passed, bringing me closer to the Time to Go Home.

(*And then I got the subject line of this post wrong. Ha ha...ha.)
 
 
 
fish_23 on November 22nd, 2005 11:54 pm (UTC)
On my desk I have a rock that says "Carpe Diem." It has a nice heft and edge to it. You could totally seize the rock and bash someone on the head with it and laugh as they fell twitching to the carpet.

I am shaking with laughter, also convulsing from the major head injury. 'Seize the day? Seize this a-hole!' Dead Poets: the gang warfare years.

I am glad that you are feeling perkier, and also that it is home time soon, where you can snag your bag from beneath you desk and twirl out the doors, throwing rocks and goodbyes their various ways.

I have no idea about the capital issue - I just randomly capitalise things and hope for the best, which is kind of shameful and I should buy a book. Perhaps even a book on that very subject.
Anna S.: jack-bristow-darkeliade on November 23rd, 2005 12:02 am (UTC)
I have no idea about the capital issue - I just randomly capitalise things and hope for the best, which is kind of shameful and I should buy a book. Perhaps even a book on that very subject.

There's a good one, "Capital Punishment: ALL CAPS, no caps, and the Death Penalty in Southern Georgia." It's kind of an unusual treatment of the topic but they have a good appendix with capitalization rules and death-row appeal statistics.
fish_23 on November 23rd, 2005 12:11 am (UTC)
You dun no capitalised that 'is' boy, get in that chair!

Your smart. If only there were jobs that you could apply for where the title was 'Smart Person', or 'smart PersOn' as I would call it.

Well this must have taken a few more valuable seconds of your time until work finishes. Have you started snagging your bag over with your foot yet?
fish_23 on November 23rd, 2005 12:12 am (UTC)
Or it could be 'You're smart', but hey, I've been up for a lethal injection for cruelty to the English language for years.
Anna S.: ronon2eliade on November 23rd, 2005 12:13 am (UTC)
I will bee a character reference!
Anna S.: rateliade on November 23rd, 2005 12:13 am (UTC)
I'm so bored. BORED OMG SCREAM BORED BORED BORED. Need to get out of here. Get get get.

*kills overly diligent co-worker with the power of my mind*
*escapes in the chaos as people wail over his smoking ashes*
fish_23 on November 23rd, 2005 12:18 am (UTC)
I find my mind can only kill people when I shuffle over a container of lighter fluid with my forehead tiping it on people and then using my right temple to rub a match against the desk thereby setting them on fire. So these days I just stick to using my hands instead, it's much more time efficient.

Have you tried twirling your chair around until you throw up? Not only does it take up valuable time but once you've finished projectile vomiting you get sent home as everyone wipes down their desks and glares.

Your overly diligent co-worker takes home office equipement and molests it. Never trust this kind of person.
Anna S.: alien reseliade on November 23rd, 2005 12:22 am (UTC)
Have you tried twirling your chair around until you throw up? Not only does it take up valuable time but once you've finished projectile vomiting you get sent home as everyone wipes down their desks and glares.

I can't twirl. I'm squashed against the wall. I can twirl WITH MY MIND though.

I actually feel kind of nauseous with the internal twirling right now, though. I just had a vanilla milkshake. It was kind of gross. It's hard to ruin a vanilla milkshake, so really, I'm impressed. Way to go, Tully's, woo hoo!

Your overly diligent co-worker takes home office equipement and molests it. Never trust this kind of person.

He gives me M&Ms though. He is washed clean in the blood of the lamb.

Ewe.
fish_23 on November 23rd, 2005 12:29 am (UTC)
Yeah, but what has he done with the M&M's though? You don't even WANT to know what the hell he's doing with your staple remover and sellotape dispencer late at night when you're not there. Also if your workmate is sitting there covered in lambs blood you may want to call Human Resources and lay a complaint, it's at least a health and safety issue if not an animal welfare one.

You also need to complain about the non-twirling ability issue. They're denying you a basic human right, like being able to yell things on street corners and carry various weapons. You must be free and twirl, like civilised free twirling people across the globe can. I will phone Amnesty for you, there will be a way.

I love milkshakes but haven't had one for years. They leave me clutching my stomach going, 'Hmmmm, so tasty, feel so sick!'. Why does food and drink want to kill me when I only want to love it? Such an abusive relationship.
Anna S.eliade on November 23rd, 2005 12:36 am (UTC)
Also if your workmate is sitting there covered in lambs blood you may want to call Human Resources

He's also covered in mint jelly. Do you really think they'll do anything? I suppose it's worth a try.

I will phone Amnesty for you, there will be a way.

Isn't Amnesty that company that sells Nutrilite and stuff and makes people wear the "Ask me how?" buttons. They're a fine organization, I think. They do a lot of good, helping prisoners buy more liquid hand soap and plush toys.
fish_23 on November 23rd, 2005 12:43 am (UTC)
Being a prisoner of an abusive regime doesn't mean having to deal with chapped hands and being deprived of toys to stick between the bars on their single ceiling high window. We are people after all, not animals.

That's what they should do, for the next famine drive they should bulk buy tvs and then drop them from planes across war and famine ravaged lands, because just because you don't have food doesn't mean that you can't have quality edutainment. Okay, they may not have electricity but they've got to meet us half-way here. It's that kind of attitude that holds them back. I don't know!

I so want to work with the UN. My wars would be the best of fun.

If he's covered in lambs blood AND mint jelly he's going to smell particularly tasty once you set him on fire. Why, he's practically begging you to. Squint harder with your mind powers!
deaverdeaver on November 23rd, 2005 12:14 am (UTC)
You are scary.

Not that I haven't had similar thoughts about my lovely new extra-sharp scissors...

Glad your meds are starting to kick in... it's always so difficult to be patient while they start to work.
Anna S.: john-rodney-38-minuteseliade on November 23rd, 2005 12:17 am (UTC)
I am scary!

Rock, paper, scissors...does rock beat scissors? I have no idea. I do know that they have international competitions for RPS, though. Oh, hey--RPS. Huh. Wouldn't your parents be proud. "International Champion of Rock, Paper, Scissors!" Mom and dad weep with earnest happiness, etc etc.

it's always so difficult to be patient while they start to work.

And difficult to be a patient.

God, I slay myself with the funny. *picks up rock, considers it*
(Deleted comment)
Net Ninnynetninny on November 28th, 2005 05:13 pm (UTC)
Because apparently I thought, "I know it's a 'be' verb, but it's so short, why bother capitalizing it?" So. Very. Embarrassing. Shame, shame, eternal shame.

*falls over in empathetic chortling fit*

*