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21 October 2005 @ 10:48 am
friday miscellany  
amputation
I dreamed last night that I had to have my left foot amputated. And okay, fine, but it was for a stupid reason--like, "You have a really bad sprain, we need to cut it off." I remember getting into the shower, trying to get my balance, and realizing that my left foot ended in a nubby spear of flesh. My dad had his legs amputated, bit by bit--foot, knees, then up to the thighs; he was diabetic.

my spam is like a poem
"An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain. The average lead pencil will draw a line 35 miles long or write approximately 50,000 English words. Honey is the only food that does not spoil. Honey found in the tombs of Egyptian pharaohs has been tasted by archaeologists and found edible."

what I watched last night
Merlin's Shop of Mystical Wonders ("Good use of trolls." -- mst3k)

questions that plague me
You know how you choose an actress to represent the gender-switched version of your BSO--say, Rodney--and it's a bull's-eye of inspiration, and then a few weeks later you want to revisit the scenario only to realize that you've forgotten who the actress was, and you'll never find another one so perfect, and you brood on the question and flagellate your degenerating memory, and then you think, hmm, maybe we could go with Tasha Yar, and that would actually be kind of funny and geekily apt, but *then* you think no, no, he was prettier, damn it, and then suddenly you realize you'll never get the image of Rodney as Tasha Yar out of your head now, and you've just shared the image with everyone you know and possibly infected them too, like with an alien virus, and then you facepalm yourself until you smother.

But that happens to everyone, right?

other thoughts I've had
I can't remember.
 
 
Current Music: "Only Dreaming" - K's Choice
 
 
 
Die sexuellen Phantasien der Kohlmeisendar_jeeling on October 21st, 2005 06:11 pm (UTC)
The average lead pencil will draw a line 35 miles long
Just the pencil lead? Or an actual pencil that has to be sharpened occsionally? *ponders*
Err...I have no idea why my brain latches onto such things.

Also, omygodomygod, I am infected. This is not good.
WesleysGirl: SGAwesleysgirl on October 21st, 2005 06:19 pm (UTC)
I had a dream last week that I was pregnant and in labor. Gah! I do not recommend it. :-P

Hey, what if John was the gender-switched one?

John blinked at him with eyes that were exactly the same, even if the lashes were a little bit thicker and darker, and pressed closer to Rodney's side. "Come on, Rodney," he said, drawing the words out as slow as thick honey, honey that Rodney would never eat because who the hell knew where those bees were getting their pollen. "I'm still me."

"No, you're not," Rodney said firmly, backing away. "You -- the real you -- don't have breasts."

Looking down at them in apparent bemusement, John brushed his fingertips over one and the nipple tightened. "I'm pretty sure I do," he said. "You're the one without breasts. Still got nipples, though." His voice was still familiar even like this, but softer, pitched a bit higher. Rodney refused to name the key in which John was speaking, even though he knew it, because that would be admitting that all of this was real.

John moved closer and curled an unusually strong female arm around Rodney's waist, then bent and bit Rodney's nipple right through his shirt. Rodney's nipple didn't seem to care that John was a woman -- it reacted immediately, sending a jolt of arousal down Rodney's nerves toward his dick, and Rodney yelped and pushed John away, turning around so he didn't have to look at him. "I'm gay," Rodney said desperately. "I don't do women."

"First of all, that's a lie," John's new voice said, close to Rodney's ear. A hand slid down Rodney's belly to his dick and rubbed it. "Secondly, I can still fuck you, even like this." John's warm tongue traced the edge of Rodney's ear; it was so unfair that as a woman John was tall enough to do that. "All we'd need is a strap-on and some creativity."

Rodney groaned and closed his eyes. He was so, so fucked.
Die sexuellen Phantasien der Kohlmeisendar_jeeling on October 21st, 2005 06:24 pm (UTC)
"I'm gay," Rodney said desperately. "I don't do women."
Hee! *hearts*
Anna S.: puppy-eyeseliade on October 21st, 2005 06:25 pm (UTC)
Gyuhnhhh. Are you trying to keeel me?! I have to pretend to get work done today! *breathes* You *could* write more of that, you know. I give you the puppy-eyes icon of great and terrible power.

So which actress would John be?
WesleysGirlwesleysgirl on October 21st, 2005 06:47 pm (UTC)
Oh, I have no idea. I suck at remembering what people look like. I just wasted like 20 minutes looking at random photos on google images, LOL, and couldn't come up with anything.

My first thought was Ashley Judd (because she looks cute with short hair) but I think her eyes are brown. She'd have to wear contacts!
Anna S.: rodney2eliade on October 21st, 2005 06:57 pm (UTC)
I love Ashley Judd! Though somehow I do not think "Rodney" when I see her. *hee*

just wasted like 20 minutes looking at random photos on google images

A ha--*that* is the infection I have spread! That google-images is the meme of destruction.
Anna S.: dh-beautyeliade on October 21st, 2005 09:04 pm (UTC)
I love Ashley Judd! Though somehow I do not think "Rodney" when I see her. *hee*

Um...I meant John. Though I was thinking "Rodney" (belying my claim) so maybe I should go look at her again.
Die sexuellen Phantasien der Kohlmeisendar_jeeling on October 21st, 2005 09:55 pm (UTC)
Ashley Judd? :D She does the eyebrow thing, too, doesn't she?
Ashley
John
Hmmm.
Anna S.: daniel-stunningeliade on October 25th, 2005 04:46 pm (UTC)
WesleysGirl: Sheppardwesleysgirl on October 25th, 2005 11:26 pm (UTC)
That would work for me. :-)
feasting on takeout and souls: october bearbear on October 21st, 2005 08:28 pm (UTC)
Honey is the only food that does not spoil. Honey found in the tombs of Egyptian pharaohs has been tasted by archaeologists and found edible.

I've heard this before. It does beg the question, though, what kind of person would excavate Egyptian tomb food and then think, "Hmmm, I wonder if it still tastes okay?" WHO DOES THAT?
Anna S.eliade on October 21st, 2005 09:04 pm (UTC)
The same people who never discard anything in their fridge...
(Deleted comment)
Anna S.: puppy-eyeseliade on October 21st, 2005 09:03 pm (UTC)
Alternatively, QI, the popular British quiz show hosted by Stephen Fry, gets its facts from spam.

I think you've hit on it.

(My spam is from Stephen Fry! I love him.)
(Deleted comment)
Anna S.: sydney-bristoweliade on October 21st, 2005 10:26 pm (UTC)
Have they posted yet?! I MUST KNOW!
(Deleted comment)
Anna S.: rodney2eliade on October 21st, 2005 11:49 pm (UTC)
Darn you! You taunt me, then flee with your knowledge amnesia!
(Deleted comment)
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Vera: tashacopracat on October 22nd, 2005 04:39 pm (UTC)
and you've just shared the image with everyone you know and possibly infected them too, like with an alien virus

I kind of like it, though.