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16 May 2005 @ 08:53 pm
Jacks and other things.  
I may brood endlessly about whether everyone who answered "cat-food" to question #2 understood that I meant *your* breath, not *mine*.

Miscellaneous fact: In a fit of vicarious homicidal mania, I am rapidly acquiring the entire collection of Friday the 13th movies. I think this will be a big draw if I ever list a personals ad--for a certain target audience, anyway. "SWF, 36, likes bad horror movies, geeks. Can make popcorn."

Meanwhile, while making popcorn, I imagined a crossover of Jacks:

Jack Bristow is called to the SGC for some reason relating to espionage on foreign soil; the foreign soil in this case being some other planet. He is being briefed by SG-1 and General Hammond. Imagine everyone sitting around the briefing table: the members of SG-1 trying to figure out how best to tell him about the stargate, Jack sitting there in his impeccable suit, expressionlessly looking at them. Having richly experienced the limits of absurdity with Rambaldi, he is not easily surprised.

Sam: It's a technological device built by an ancient race of aliens that propagates field resonance spacetime tunneling--creating a traversable wormhole allowing for interstellar travel.

Jack: ...

Sam looks helplessly to Daniel.

Daniel, with hand gestures: Basically, it's a big doughnut-shaped gate, and you can turn it on and... [walking-fingers hand gesture] walk through it.

Jack: ...

Daniel: To other worlds.

Jack: ...

Daniel: In other *galaxies*.

Jack, stonefaced: I understand.

Daniel: I'm not sure you do, actually.

Jack O'Neill, confidingly: It takes a while for it to sink in.

Jack, staring at him: What makes you think I fail to grasp the significance of this information?

Daniel, head tilting rather diplomatically: Wellllll, most people usually get a little more excited when they learn that there are aliens. And that the Air Force is in the business of intergalactic travel.

Jack, blandly: What makes you think I'm not excited?

Jack O'Neill: Lack of...zest.
 
 
 
Destinadestina on May 17th, 2005 04:08 am (UTC)
LOL! Lack of zest! That's our spydaddy. The anti-zest. *g*
tafkarfanfictafkarfanfic on May 17th, 2005 04:19 am (UTC)
WRITE MORE OF THIS, DAMN YOU!!!
Anna S.: jack-oneilleliade on May 17th, 2005 04:33 am (UTC)
Yes--there needs to be a part where Jack Bristow and Teal'c stare and stare and stare and stare at each other, and finally Teal'c inclines his head approvingly and with respect.

*grin*

[Law]: SG-1 (Jack Bored Now) by my_shiny_thingstreacle_a on May 17th, 2005 07:08 am (UTC)
I don't even watch SGA and even I want you to write more!!!
[Law]treacle_a on May 17th, 2005 07:10 am (UTC)
Or Alias...as that is in fact what I...meant

::blushes::
tafkarfanfictafkarfanfic on May 18th, 2005 03:51 am (UTC)
My husband is ROLLING ON THE FLOOR laughing because I read this to him. He especially liked the Daniel hand-gesturey bit. And he sends back your scene, in dialogue:

BRISTOW: ....

TEAL'C: ...

BRISTOW: ...

TEAL'C: ...

DANIEL: Should we interrupt them?

O'NEILL: Do we interrupt you when you're getting your geek on?

DANIEL: (indignant) Yes!

O'NEILL: Okay, bad example.

BRISTOW AND TEAL'C: ...
Anna S.: jack-gazing-vaughneliade on May 18th, 2005 04:23 am (UTC)
Oh my god, you guys are *awesome*! You just cracked my shit *up*!

*dies*

Anna:

.........
.........
.........
...hee... <-- from the grave
(Deleted comment)
Moral Whiplashbkwyrm on May 17th, 2005 04:27 am (UTC)
Oh God. That's beautiful.
Am now hopelessly in love with Jack Bristow and considering naming my firstborn after him.
Oh, hi.pink_pants on May 17th, 2005 04:39 am (UTC)
and then they use their amazing time travel device to go back to piratical times, Port Royal, yadda yadda yadda, RUM! And Cpt. Jack and Jack O'Neill might get along really well. And Jack Bristow and Commodore Norrington. They could bond!
wyoluvrwyoluvr on May 17th, 2005 05:15 am (UTC)
you should most DEFINITELY write this. would you like babies on toast? chocolate? evil deeds done in your name?
bibliokatbibliokat on May 17th, 2005 05:22 am (UTC)
Lack of zest!

Definitely Jack Sparrow. Jack, Jack, why can't I think of more Jacks?!?!
tafkarfanfictafkarfanfic on May 18th, 2005 03:51 am (UTC)
Jack Sheppard from Lost. Although I'm waiting for someone to write the fic in which he and John Sheppard from Atlantis turn out to be cousins.
bibliokatbibliokat on May 18th, 2005 04:32 am (UTC)
I just cheated and used Google, but there really are a lot of Jacks out there. For instance, Jack from Jack & Bobby, Jack from Will & Grace (I vote for him the most!), Jack from 24 (though I've never actually seen that), and I guess there's a Jack on American Dreams (which I've also never seen). You know, just in case you decide you like writing about Jacks.
Darcy: willowtaradarcydodo on May 17th, 2005 06:01 am (UTC)
*dies of laughter*

Jack, blandly: What makes you think I'm not excited?

I love this line! And then the response, too. :)
Estepheia: Chanceestepheia on May 17th, 2005 11:53 am (UTC)
*snort*
A carbonated fusion beverage!: swingsswmbo on May 17th, 2005 12:25 pm (UTC)
*dies*

That is so perfect, I can see it in my head.

Jack, staring at him: What makes you think I fail to grasp the significance of this information?

*loves him so much*
bleu_lavandebleu_lavande on May 17th, 2005 02:29 pm (UTC)
*snorts*
*throws lollipops and truffles at Anna*
*wants more of Jack Bristow*
nestra on May 17th, 2005 02:41 pm (UTC)
Jack, staring at him: What makes you think I fail to grasp the significance of this information?

Daniel, head tilting rather diplomatically: Wellllll, most people usually get a little more excited when they learn that there are aliens. And that the Air Force is in the business of intergalactic travel.

Jack, blandly: What makes you think I'm not excited?

Jack O'Neill: Lack of...zest.


Oh, my god. I'll just die of glee right now. Can you imagine Jack Bristow as an intergalatic negotiator? There would be none of this running around and pandering for naquadah. People would *give* him the naquadah, and they would be *glad* they did.
Rosa Westphalen: avatardemiorosawestphalen on May 17th, 2005 03:47 pm (UTC)
You have given a new joy to my life! Thank you for sharing this, today is now officially a better day.
{{{{hug}}}}
Nashnashmaveric on May 17th, 2005 06:40 pm (UTC)
::falls down laughing:: OMG, I don't know the second Jack but I can picture the SG team and oh God I can't breathe ::laughs harder::
(Deleted comment)
grime and livestockcofax7 on May 21st, 2005 06:35 am (UTC)
Lack of...zest

Bwahah!

(Yes, I really laughed out loud.)

Now all we need is for Jack Bauer to show up, in search of some information to help stop a terrorist plot to destroy the world. We'll have a Jack Off.

... err, that went porny real fast.
(Deleted comment)
Time Is Like A Kiss: daniel jackson hall of thor's might by sjenlev on May 21st, 2005 03:22 pm (UTC)
bwahaha! :::faints laughing:::

i don't even watch alias and i'm mesmerized. write more please. and hee! zest indeed. *bg*